#1 Startup Newsletter
Startup Heist
Behind every startup is a crime scene.
We sketch the floorplan. Flag the exits.
Then we hand you the crowbar.
Steal the signal. Leave the noise.
TESTIMONIALS
Words on the Street...
“This is what TechCrunch would publish if they stopped copy-pasting founder delusions and called it insight.”
Danielle X.
Anonymous Journalist (formerly @ every publication you’ve ever heard of
“I thought I was reading satire. Turns out it was my pitch deck. I laughed. Then I cried. Then I called my lawyer. Then I realized it was last week’s issue and I stole the idea. Now I’m rich. And my goldfish has its own assistant.”
Noah F.
possibly suing soon
“I was building a Chrome extension for parents. Now I’m laundering LTV in rural Kansas.”
Terry S.
Solo founder, DirtStacked
“We send it to interns instead of an NDA. It’s faster.”
Alex P.
GP, MidCurve Ventures
“If you squint, it’s basically McKinsey slides written by someone on edibles. But it works.”
Rakesh Banerjee
Strategy, Fortune 100 (off the record)
“I don’t know if I should take what you wrote seriously… it’s so incredible but true.”
Kirby
First Reader, First Heist
“Every issue reads like it was written by a mutant lab rat that escaped Y Combinator.”
Dr. Linus D. Patch
Machine Ethics Lead, OpenAlgo
“It’s not a newsletter. It’s a legal liability in your inbox.”
Alvin “The Hatchet” Greene
Head of Risk, VC firm that no longer exists
“No intro, no fluff, just the guts. Like watching a raccoon disassemble a vending machine. You’re horrified, but you can’t look away.”
Zoë
marketing lead, venture-backed mischief
FAQs
Frequently Asked Questions